Mid-summer Madness

YeeeOwwwwww!  Eeeeeeeek!  Piercing screams and squawks penetrate the steamy air of a languid summer's afternoon.  Assorted moppets, playing in the sun drenched courtyard, run for cover.  Anxious parents emerge to investigate the source of the cacophony.  Then, a whining  siren-like sound  begins, quickly reaching an ear piercing crescendo.  "Where are the cops?" my neighbors enquire as they approach my house with trepidation.  Momentarily a squad car, with siren blaring and strobe lights flashing, roars into view.  A police officer with a buzz haircut sporting a pair of those bug-eyed reflective sunglasses, begins to pound on my door with a cudgel-like implement.  He screams "What the hell are y'all doing in there - havin a crack party?  Open the door before I kick it in." As I comply, he is accosted by an angry lime-green creature fanning a magnificent set of tail feathers.  My parrot, Spanky, responds with hysterical laughter and a "Hey, Big Boy." He dive bombs the interloper with clawed feet flailing leaving a pea green dollop of organic material on one of his meticulously polished jackboots.  The peace officer promptly exits the premises tossing a citation of some sort on my lawn as he jumps into the safety of his adamantine auto and streaks off.